“You Didn’t What?”

After being induced, I honestly felt like my daughter nor myself was ready. As in prepared for motherhood and the newborn stage.

Physically I had no idea what I was doing. I barely knew how to change a diaper.

When we left the hospital, my daughter had not properly latched and even after seeing an LC before leaving, we were told that it would come with development (she was three weeks early).

Little did I know that she would never latch effectively and the first question I would be asked as a new mom was “Are you breastfeeding?” No was often the short answer I gave. After pumping for months and using a bottle, the fussiness NEVER stopped. Finally after a visit with our pediatrician, he ruled that a milk allergy was likely. We were given a few samples of formula that did not have a cow’s milk protein and in two days, she was a different baby. Why had it taken so long to get an answer?

On the other hand, no became the constant answer to the question that everyone asked. I continued to pump and freeze for months until I no longer felt a need for my supply. With a freezer full of milk, it was disheartening to know that I could not provide what my daughter needed- not only physically, but from an attachment perspective as well.

It took months to feel attached to my little one and to stop being so hard on myself for not succeeding.

In light of my experience, I am telling all mamas that you will do what is best for your baby no matter what others may question, You will succeed.

You are the best thing for your baby. Breastfed or not.